Well, it’s still only Thursday evening but already this week has transpired to be a week of dilemmas. Every day has thrown up the need to make a decision that has caused some angst on my part, from the seemingly trivial to more important moral choices…
* Whether to continue watching X Factor since my discomfort on Sunday. The revealing article by a music journalist – also posted earlier in the week – has added to my concerns in this area.
* To go to an aqua-aerobics class or not – was it genuine tiredness or just laziness masquerading under a more acceptable excuse?! Not being sure whether my swimsuit actually fitted or not was another factor.
* What toiletries to buy – needed a few bits and pieces but trying to save some money. Also trying to be a more ‘green’ consumer and health & beauty is a real minefield in that respect – packaging, chemicals, animal testing, exploitation of natural resources, the list goes on…
* Spying some lovely shoes on a vintage clothing stall. I’d only gone along to show support to the friend who’s started the stall & – as mentioned in previous point – am trying to save the pennies at the mo. Added pressure: being vintage, I knew they were the only available pair.
* Attending a political meeting. It’s a cause that I feel strongly about but it’s a bad time for me in terms of work – can I take on another commitment? Taking a stand in this particular case could also pose a risk to my personal safety. How far am I prepared to go? What risk is reasonable? When does concern for safety become cowardice?
* How to restructure my timetable for the next few weeks of work. Sometimes trying to judge how long a task might take is like playing ‘Spin the tail on the donkey’ – however hard you try, you’re stabbing a pin in the dark.
* What to take to a harvest festival on Sunday. Something seasonal? Something unusual? Something that I’m particularly keen to buy back at the produce sale on Monday?!
Some dilemmas have been easy to resolve. With regards to the toiletries, I had a bit left over from a sum of money that I’d put aside for something else, so used that as my budget. The items I picked were not from my usual brands, but they’re perfectly reputable and I might even prefer them in the end (I’m more than happy to admit that brand heritage & good packaging usually persuade me more than performance). The environmental/ethical concerns were harder to judge & I decided that I need to get the Rough Guide To Ethical Consumerism out the library again – their guide to cosmetics etc was really helpful, & I need to photocopy it for continued reference. The shoes won me over in the end – I knew that I’d wear them lots & they weren’t expensive, so juggled a few other things around & came up with the money.
Other dilemmas were more challenging. What to do about the political meeting has particularly troubled me. I decided, after much soul-searching, to listen my instinct & not get involved this time. However, my dilemma has led me to think more about this issue & I’ve contacted someone about getting involved in a different way – one that I’m more comfortable with – so at least it has led to some positive action. I’ve moved forward because of this angst. And that can only be a good thing.