Money, money, money seems to be the theme of today. Not the Abba song, but real, actual money: realising it’s nearly the end of the month hence nearly payday (I’ve been out of regular employment for so long that my brain doesn’t seem to compute that I’ve got another pay cheque coming soon); getting an unexpected gift of money (going straight to the coffers of the garden fund at my Quaker meeting); paying an honorarium payment into my bank account; sorting out my credit card bill (I like to put all the relevant receipts for each bill in an envelope & then staple the envelope to the bill. Geeky, I know); realising that I’ve got savings again after two years of them being ebbed away.
Like most people, I have an ambigious relationship with money. I’m fully aware that I can be quite miserly at times. My puritanical streak runs strong. I don’t like anything I perceive to be ‘waste’ (I spent a good five minutes today hovering round a pay & display machine like a nutcase because my carparking ticket had fifty minutes left on it & I was determined that someone else should get use of it). I think this may have something to do with a strong desire to not let money be the driving force in my life. I try to be ‘careful’ so that I don’t live up to or beyond my means, in order to avoid a vicious cycle where I get used to earning a certain amount and then it doesn’t seem like enough so I need to earn more…etc etc.
On other occasions, I can be overly flamboyant, pulling the next twenty out of my purse with gay abandon. But that is no bad thing (& perhaps a necessary counterweight to my tendency to count the pennies). As one of my favourite Bible passages states, ‘You will always be rich enough to be generous’.