Today my closest friend went on holiday with her boyfriend. First thing this morning, I text her to say have a good time. I hope they have an amazing week. At the same time, however, I can’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. That’s very hard to admit. It’s hard to admit because she’s my friend. It’s hard to admit because it’s always difficult to acknowledge negative emotions without feeling like a failure. It’s hard to admit on the back of such an amazing week in my own life. It’s not like I don’t enjoy myself and my own life. But I have to concede to feeling lonely. Not always, but sometimes. Sometimes I just want to feel loved. To feel wanted. Adored. Part of a team. Sometimes it would just be good to know that there’s someone there available when I spot a bargain last minute package holiday deal.

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