Post-celebrity break-up, the gossip magazines are inevitably filled with interviews with one or both of the parties involved. In said interviews, they reveal the major life transformation that they have instigated since their relationship ended: the ‘I can find the real me now X is out of my life’ or ‘How I lost seven stone in three weeks since we finished’ type of headline. Whilst I am slightly cynical about the motives for such media revelations, I can certainly empathise with the basic sentiment behind them. Post-break-up, I too am overwhelmed with an urge to do something, something dramatic, as if making a public declaration. A declaration of what, I’m not sure – it could be a sense of ending, moving on, closure, rebellion. Or all of these things. All I know is that I keep musing on what spectacular action I could undertake. The main change I have instigated is a fitness drive, but that isn’t speedy enough; results could take weeks, even months, to be apparent. I want something more immediate, more ‘Ta Da!’. Possible ideas that have occurred to me, from the large to the slightly feeble, include:
1) Move somewhere else
2) Buy a new car
3) Buy coloured eyeliner (what a rebel!)
4) Dye my hair (there’s no limit to my imagination!)
5) Commit to a life of celibacy
6) Go vegan
I doubt I shall do any of the above as I haven’t seriously considered any of them, but still such ideas (and more) keep running around my mind. I feel compelled to act out some kind of rite of passage to mark the relationship’s passing. I’m not even sure why this is the case; it’s not like it’s been a long relationship or a traumatic ending to it. Maybe therein lies the answer. There’s no drama or calamity to retell to friends over bottles of wine, no bust-up to pick over in my imagination. Things just changed. Yet with no shouting or screaming or crying to let out all the emotions that accompany such a decision, I’m left with it all inside – hence the desire to do something momentous. I need some kind of release valve as deep within, I’ve my very own “I’m an angry ex-girlfriend” alter ego desperate to get out.