Something to say

Once again, I haven’t posted for some time.  During that time, my thirtieth birthday has been & gone.  This particular milestone prompted an inordinate amount of angst & soul-searching. I didn’tthinkI was bothered about it (why should I be?) but discovered that I was, probably because it seemed to coincide with a broader shift in a sense of self & cemented the growing realisation that I am in fact a Grown-Up.  Despite the angst & soul-searching, & the joy & release that followed, I didn’t feel moved to post.  In fact, the day passed without it occurring to me to blog.  When I realised this, it led me to again question whether to continue. Do I still have anything to say, I thought to myself on several occasions.  I decided to close the blog, & came close to do so on occasions, but was always distracted at the last minute by some other task or commitment. 

Then this morning, a different feeling struck.  I felt I do still have something to say.  The inspiration for this wasn’t profound or dramatic: I was cleaning my teeth & debating whether to skip flossing as I was short of time.  Why is, I wondered, that we seem so happy to do stuff that is superfluous or trivial or even bad for us, yet the stuff that is beneficial is nearly always the first to be sacrificed?  Why will I spare the time to use several different creams & potions in the morning, yet flossing (with far greater proven benefits than any skincare product or regime) was under threat in the rush?  I don’t have an answer to these questions. I just had the urge to ask them; the compulsion to share them.  As insignificant as these thoughts may be in the grand scheme of things, they have encouraged me to continue.  The thoughts are there, just perhaps with a slightly different focus to before – as my life has shifted since the blog started, then perhaps so too should the blog itself.  A new start for my new decade.

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