How Pinterest has changed my life (or at least been super useful for work)

How Pinterest has changed my life (or at least been super useful for work)

Are you on Pinterest?

If so, how do you use it? As the ultimate time suck, spending whole evenings pinning first birthday party décor schemes (even though you don’t have children) and searching for inspirational quotes (because that’s easier than actually getting on with the task you’re dreading)?

Or in a professional capacity, driving traffic to your blog and sales to your funnel?

As you may be able to guess, I don’t use Pinterest for the latter. But some folks, such as Sarah Von Bargen of the Yes and Yes blog, do so with huge success.

I don’t use Pinterest for the former either. Well, not much. I did once end up down a rabbit hole about Turkey Cake (even though I don’t celebrate Thanksgiving).

How Pinterest has changed my life (or at least been super useful for work)

However, I do use Pinterest a lot – pretty much daily, in fact.

I use it as a pin-board.

It’s hardly revolutionary, I know. The name of the platform suggests that’s what it’s there for.

However I don’t pin a huge amount of content from within Pinterest. The majority of what I add to my boards comes from other websites. In the same way that back in the day, you might have torn an article out of a magazine and literally tacked it to a cork-board, I electronically stick all of the stuff I read and find interesting into Pinterest.

I’m telling you this because It. Has. Changed. My. Life.

No more searching through my browser history trying to find the article I mention to a friend and they are really interested in (I’m sure it was the New York Times. Hmm, may be it was the New Yorker…).

No more unwieldly Internet browser bookmark folders with lists so long that I can’t find anything and filing systems that I forget I’ve introduced.

No more giving up and accepting that the amazing content I find online is then destined to disappear into the ether, never to be seen again.

No more random post-it notes in bags, on fridges and in diaries with scribbled names of books.

How Pinterest has changed my life (or at least been super useful for work)

Friends, now I can read things and know I have a safe place to store them – a safe place that looks pretty when I go back to it!

The boards may also be of interest to you as I most regularly add links related to my professional interests and the topics that I write about:

How Pinterest changed my life (or at least has been super useful for work)Ethical beautyEthical jewelleryLiving ethically

Maybe you’re also into ethical and sustainable fashion – or ethical beauty, ethical jewellery, ethical lifestyle

How Pinterest changed my life (or at least has been super useful for work)

Maybe you also want to know what’s happening in the fashion industry at large

 

How Pinterest changed my life (or at least has been super useful for work)

Maybe you’re also self-employed

Magazines

Maybe you’re also a magazine geek or want to learn about the latest news from the magazine publishing world

How Pinterest has changed my life (or at least been super useful for work)

Maybe you also don’t drink – or are thinking about not drinking

How Pinterest has changed my life (or at least been super useful for work)

Maybe you also take an interest in mental health advice and experiences

If your work in anyway involves online material, I honestly can’t recommend starting some dedicated Pinterest boards enough.

They’re also a great way to curate content linked to random interests, hobbies or fandom that you have.

How Pinterest has changed my life (or at least been super useful for work)

For example, I’ve long been obsessed with names and naming practices. As a tween and teen, I’d check baby name dictionaries out of the library and read them cover-to-cover. Now I have a special Pinterest board so rather than just being some random part of my brain, I have a little Names collection going on!

Jackie Kennedy

The same applies to all the other topics that I love knowing about for no reason other than curiosity (Jackie Kennedy) or may one day wish to write about (Jane Fonda, soap operas, the royal family and fashion).

What could you start a Pinterest board for?

How Pinterest has changed my life (or at least been super useful for work)Soap operasFashion and the royal fashion

 

 

Clarity: why it’s so hard to give up drinking

Man's hand putting down a pint of beer || Clarity: why it's so hard to give up drinking
Clarity: why it’s so hard to give up drinking
Lost in translation: Soberano liquor || Clarity: why it is so hard to give up drinking || raeritchie.com
Lost in translation: Soberano liquor

Now that those who attempted Dry January are facing a decision about what to do with their drinking habits, I wanted to return to what seems to be a burning question: why is it so hard to give up drinking?

This question has been much on mind this last month as I’ve written a series of posts about sobriety.  To be honest, it’s something I’ve pondered a lot in the two years since I’ve quit drinking – and it also haunted me for well over a decade before that.

For some people it simply isn’t hard to do.  They can go for weeks or months without touching a drop and don’t think of it.  For those of us with a more complicated relationship to the bottle this kind of laissez faire attitude is incomprehensible.  When I was drinking, booze was all too often at the front of my mind: when I’d have it next followed by what had I done when I’d had it, over and over, an endlessly repeating drama.

Now I don’t drink, that drama has gone.  That noise has subsided.  There’s no furtive planning for the next occasion nor are there any pieces to pick up afterwards.  No fog of forgetfulness, no blackouts where memories should be.

I look back at last weekend and the one before and the one before that…I can recall Friday night and Saturday night clearly.  Thursday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday too.

This weekend will be the same.  No fuzziness around the edges, not even the slightest lapse in recollection.  It will all be as clear as it is now as I write at three in the afternoon.

Those strange people who’ve never liked getting drunk hold this up as a positive effect.  Many reformed drinkers do too.  You’ll never have that loss of control again!  Isn’t it marvellous?!

No.  No it isn’t.  I’ll tell you the truth.  Knowing that you’ll never again experience that fuzziness around the edges, the lapse in memory, the loss of control is not marvellous, it’s terrifying.

The long deep outbreath that comes with the first sip?  It vanishes forever and you’re left wondering what the f*ck you’re going to do without it.

What will life be like without the release valve that we’ve come to rely on?  What will life be like without having the edge taken off?  What will like be like without the endless drama of planning/drinking/patching up?

What’s it like?

Clear.

Your mind becomes like a glass of freshly drawn tap water.  It’s refreshing in a way but you can’t hide anything in it.  You see all the things that you drank to forget right there, now unavoidable.  Whatever you tried to cover up will be exposed.  Whatever you tried to drown will rise to the surface.

This, my friends, is why it is so hard to give up drinking.  Facing this clarity, embracing it even, is one of the hardest challenges that we can take on.  It’s the archetypal hero’s journey, treacherous but noble.  Many will fall by the wayside, unable or unwilling to continue.

Living with this clarity, sitting with it night after night, week after week, will test us in every way it can.

Is it worth the fight?  Everyone answers that question for themselves.  I can see clearly what the right response is for me.

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There’s more to a Saturday afternoon than a pub lunch: the lesson I took a decade to learn

Eat cake instead - 'There's more to a Saturday afternoon than a pub lunch: the lesson it took me a decade to learn' || raeritchie.com
Oh so good…the delicious flapjack I ate last time Emily & I did cake-&-books on a Saturday afternoon

This Saturday I’m meeting up with my friend Emily to eat cake and visit a second hand bookstore.  We did the same back in November and had such a good time that we decided to try out other local venues that offer this dual opportunity.

Nothing particularly remarkable about this, but as a wagonista (my personal choice of moniker for teetotal, taken from the phrase ‘to be on the wagon’), I particularly treasure the times that I get to see my friends when alcohol isn’t involved.  I’m not against other people drinking and I don’t avoid nights out.  I’ve simply become more alert to alternative socialising options since I quit the bottle myself.

I’ve always found that it’s easy for ‘nights out’ visiting pubs and bars to dominate our notions of ‘seeing friends’ and ‘having a social life’.  This may not be the case for you.  I sometimes wonder if it was my proclivity to drink that meant I rarely strayed from this tried-and-tested formula; as far back as 2004, I was impressed by a friend’s ability (and desire) to think of activities to do together on a Saturday afternoon other than get a pub lunch.  I should have spotted that was a sign then – oh wait, I did.  I just tried to ignore it for another decade.

If you’re trying Dry January or attempting to cut back on alcohol a bit in the new year then chances are you may also be hyper-conscious of the role that licenced premises can play in socialising.  While you definitely don’t have to avoid such places, it can just make things a bit easier for yourself to minimise visits, at least until you feel more secure in your new drinking status.

Of course with the rise of home drinking in recent decades, this won’t necessarily help in your mission but it can make a difference.  Wherever you normally partake, it’s useful to think of some other activities to occupy your leisure time.

If alcohol isn’t your driving force in life, it’s amazing what’s out there to do on evenings and weekends!

My friend who had the ideas that extended beyond food-and-booze suggested a trip to an art gallery.  We also visited a nearby medieval home and garden.  So simple, so much enjoyment, even if we did have issues with the carpark machine in the latter.

There’s everything from ten pin bowling, ice skating and the cinema to walking, playing squash and starting a five-a-side team.  You could go shopping, visit someplace new, take in an exhibition or a fair.  There are also thousands of festivals out there, and not all are about beer!

How about going for coffee and a cake this Saturday afternoon like Emily and me?

The following Saturday, I’ve a group of friends coming round for a beauty night: a visit from a beautician combined with a lot of gossiping.  Some will probably have a drink, but it’s not the central pillar of the night.  Like my old friend knew, not everything has to revolve around alcohol.  After thirteen years, two of them sober, this is a lesson I’m finally learning.

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Sobriety and soda: alcohol alternatives for when you’re sober (temporarily or permanently)

Sobriety and soda: alcohol alternatives for when you're sober || raeritchie.com
Sobriety and soda: alcohol alternatives for when you’re sober

As I’ve mentioned in other posts, I thought that throughout January, I’d draw on my experience of two years’ sobriety to (hopefully) help others who are doing Dry January, looking to cut back on the booze a bit or even thinking about quitting altogether.

Today I’m focusing focus on alternatives to alcohol.  I know this is a massive stumbling block for many people, myself included.

Even if you like Diet Coke, there’s only so much of it that you want to drink.  But what else is there? 

Considering your options before you get to the bar can help in your resolve as you’re less likely to blurt out ‘Dry white wine and soda’ (or whatever your particular tipple) in a state of panic.

Why can ordering a drink feel so stressful?!  You. Have. To. Choose. Quickly.

I’m assuming here that you’re in a bar but obviously you can drink these choices at home too.  I’ve found that having something AF (alcohol free) and lovely in the fridge on a Friday night is a great morale boost and again helps with any temptation you might be experiencing.

I’m not a fan of AF alcoholic drinks, i.e. zero or low percent proof beers and wines.  For some people they are a good option but I believe that if you’re trying actually quit drinking, they fan the feeling that you’re missing out – a state of mind that makes long term abstinence pretty difficult.

One final word before I get on to the suggestions: I’ve resisted naming specific brands or varieties here because of availability issues.  I’ve found that selections can be quite niche (six suggestions that are only available in three bars in the Midlands aren’t much use) but most places have something good on offer.

Alcohol Alternatives || Tuesday Reviews Day 10-01-2017
I’ve had many a good night out on Old Jamaica Ginger Beer – here’s me & my partner with two cans toasting our decision to get married. Seriously. Ginger beer. It’s that good.

 

Here are five ideas:

  • Ask the bar staff

Okay, so this isn’t a specific recommendation at all but simply advice.  Particularly if it’s your first non-drinking visit to a bar, ask those stood behind the counter what non-alcoholic options they have available as they may not all be listed on the menu.

In some venues you will just have the stuff they use for mixers and cordials available but increasingly places are stocking more eclectic choices too, with the craft beer phenomena spawning a craft soda trend as well.

This tactic also makes staff more aware that there are customers searching for a decent AF choice so could end up in some positive changes being made if they haven’t already been more inventive with their inventory.

  • Bitter lemon

This has echoes of the 1970s for many older drinkers but this is now often my default choice when I’m on a ‘proper’ night out.

Usually served in a low ball glass neat over ice, it’s particularly on point when those around you are drinking shorts or if you feel a bit self-conscious about being booze free.  A nice digestif too.

  • Mocktails

If a place serves cocktails then they can whip you up an AF alternative.

Challenge them to craft something unique or check out their menu as there’ nearly always a few listed anyway.

  • Ginger

I’ve yet to ask for a ginger-based soft drink in a bar and not been served one, ginger tonic if not ginger beer.

A bit of zing for your palate!

  • Hot drinks

In continental Europe you see patrons ordering an espresso at a bar and think nothing of it but somehow asking for a brew in a British pub feels different.  Why is that?

However so many bars, pubs and clubs now serve hot drinks that it shouldn’t feel weird.

Annoyingly, some staff seem resistant to serving them, turning the machines off or saying ‘Sorry we don’t have any milk’ (I actually was told that one recently.  I take my coffee black.  Hah!  That felt like a victory for the wagonistas!).  You can always ask them to put the machine back.

  • Water

A strange mindset that still seems to surround not drinking is that if you’re not having alcohol then somehow you don’t warrant getting an actually decent drink (hence so many just going for badly mixed syrupy soda from the tap).

Down with this attitude!

Serving a pint of beer or making a cocktail is a skill and you deserve that same level of effort so don’t feel that if you want water then it has to be ‘just tap water’.

Of course it can be, or it can be bottled or sparkling.  Whichever, you don’t have to settle for a half or pint glass.  Ask for a high ball tumbler, ice and a slice as well, perhaps a straw.  You don’t have to feel like a second class citizen because you’re not boozing!

Tell me readers what are your favourite AF choices?  What do you like?

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Dry January: a round up of writing on alcohol and sobriety

Dry January: a round up of writing on alcohol and sobriety || raeritchie.com

As I mentioned in my post on Thursday, I am dedicating much of my blog in January to discussing alcohol – or more accurately, lack of alcohol.  I’ve been sober for over two years now & I want to use my experiences to help others who are trying to cut back or give up, whether for the month or for good.

This post is a round-up of discussions of Dry January and drinking that I’ve stumbled across elsewhere.  I hope that you find this useful, interesting and, in some cases, entertaining.  As always, please do share this post widely – it does really help to get it out there!

Last week, I featured Sas Petherick as one of the women whose work has changed my life.  She is back this week because her reflection on sobriety is the most moving and beautiful thing I’ve read this week.  She inspired me to give up drinking and I’m sure her account will help others as well: Fun Bobby was wrong: the unexpected lightness of being five years sober

Not quite as long but still making it to twelve months: a post from Refinery 29 sharing four women’s experiences of going sober for a year

A post from Tommy Rosen, whose career focuses on helping people recover from addiction, discussing how being alcohol free isn’t simply a neutral stance – it is in fact a strength.  Like Sas, Rosen considers sobriety as a kind of freedom and I have to say I agree: Not Drinking – The Superpower

From the Pool last year, Marisa Bates’ account of what she learnt from doing Dry January

Laura Willoughby, founder of Club Soda, a movement to support and encourage being sober, writes for The Huffington Post about a cultural shift towards mindful drinking.  Her piece also includes some suggestions for doing Dry January, some of which I’m glad to say overlap with my top twelve tips.

A dissenting voice, although one that perhaps isn’t as contrary as first appears once you read on: in the Indpendent, Kate Taylor argues that Dry January isn’t a good idea and instead suggesting that we would be better off instituting two alcohol free days each week for the entire year.

And finally, a bit of fun as discussions of sobriety can – often rightly – be a bit serious: Buzzfeed (who else?) provides a caricature of the different categories of Dry January participants.  If you’re taking part, which are you?

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740 days sober: 12 tips for not drinking alcohol during Dry January & beyond

740 days sober- 12 tips for not drinking alcohol during Dry January & beyond

While losing weight and getting fit top the list, there’s no doubt that giving up or cutting down on alcohol is usually among the most popular new year’s resolutions.  It’s not surprising given the increased consumption of booze during December, although many people – myself included – may have had concerns about their drinking habits long before the festive season.

On 28th December 2014, I decided to stop drinking alcohol altogether.  Not for a month, or a year, but for good.  I didn’t even wait for the new year to start afresh; my pledge started then and there, lying in bed with yet another hangover alongside a whole raft of other emotions: guilt, regret, foreboding, disappointment, fear and boredom.

Yes, boredom.  After innumerable failed attempts to regulate my drinking, cut it down, manage it, even giving up for varying lengths of time, I had grown weary of going round in the same circles.

The pattern was always the same: I’d vow to change my relationship with alcohol, would succeed for a day, week, month, but would inevitably slip back into the same old drink-until-I-blackout habits.

I’m ashamed to admit but I have no recollection of how countless nights out ended during my late teens, twenties and early thirties.

And now here we are at the beginning of a month that many will label Dry January.  Throughout the coming weeks, I’ll be posting on my blog about not drinking, from practical tips to deeper issues.  I want to use my experiences to help people get through this period successfully.

For some, it won’t be an issue – giving up booze for thirty-one days will just be a way of getting back to better health. 

They won’t think too much about it.

Others, however, will know deep down that Dry January is a far harder challenge than it ought to be.

Four weeks of abstention should not be as hard as it is but it is difficult because too many of us have a complicated relationship with the bottle (or the pint glass).

I hope that what I share here will help you to press a pause button and explore what is going on inside of you when you choose to pick up a drink.

I want to begin by talking about this weekend as it tends to be the first hurdle that new soberistas face.

If you can get through this forty-eight hour period then you’ll have a good foundation for next Friday, and the one after, and the one after that.  Here are my twelve top tips:

If you’re going out

If you’re going out, basically make it as awkward as possible for yourself to drink.  Don’t worry too much about the desire you probably will have to ditch the whole no drinking effort; don’t beat yourself up for not embracing the challenge with open arms.  Just focus on practicalities and ways to trick yourself out of drinking.

  • Offer to drive other people or simply drive yourself. Obviously this isn’t an option for everyone but if you have access to a car then drive.  It rules out alcohol as a choice and gets other people off your back as to why you’re not drinking.
  • Schedule an appointment for early the next morning. Hairdresser, dentist, doctor, whatever: make an arrangement for the morning after you’re gone out.  Social plans can work but you have to be sure that whatever you’re committed to cannot be easily cancelled or re-arranged.
  • Try to be thirsty when you arrive. This is difficult to plan but I’ve found that rocking up to an event genuinely thirsty is a great teetotal hack: somehow it’s easier to say ‘Jeez I’m parched, can I get a glass of water?’ than ‘I don’t drink, can I get a glass of water?’.
  • Linked to #3 is plan your first drink. Know what you’re going to ask for when you arrive at the bar or are asked by the host.  Whether water, soda or a hot drink, practice your line as if you’re taking part in a micro play.  Honestly the first drink is always the hardest; once you’ve nailed that then it’s easier to stick to your guns.
  • Do something healthy for yourself before you go out. Often quitting booze for a while is part of a wider effort to improve one’s health, but even if it isn’t then try to load up on feeling virtuous before the night begins, be it doing some exercise or having a healthy meal.  Like when you’re doing well at sticking to a diet, this will make you a bit more resistant to breaking your good habits.

 

If you’re staying in

If you’re staying in, you need to focus on having an alternative plan to the usual open-a-drink-and-sit-on-the-sofa.  Again, don’t fret about the desire you probably will have to ditch the whole no drinking effort; instead focus on practical ways to stop yourself drinking.

  • Buy an alternative treat. Cake, sweets, chocolate, cheese: make sure that you have something to hand that can fill the ‘It’s the end of the week and I deserve a treat’ feeling.  You may be swapping one vice for another but don’t worry about that at this stage.
  • Plan your evening: a film, catching up on a TV show, playing a game. Pick an activity that you’ll look forward to avoid the temptations that come with boredom.  Occupy your mind and, if possible, also your hands.
  • Go to bed early. This can be for positive or negative reasons.  You may look at it as a treat, doing some good for yourself by getting a decent night’s kip, or you may just resort to this as a way of staying sober – you can’t drink when you’re asleep.  The latter may seem depressing but it works.
  • Ask those around you to be supportive. Whether friends, housemates, family or a partner, ask those you’re spending the evening with to help you out by not drinking either.  If necessary, reassure them that you won’t always make this request, but at the start of habit change this can really make a difference.
  • Get a decent alcohol alternative in. Personally I’m not a fan of alcohol free substitutes, but there are lots of zero percent wines and beers available now.  Explore soft drink options too; I’m definitely on Team Root Beer.  What takes your fancy?  It’s much easier to go without booze when you enjoy what you’re drinking instead.

 

Top two tips

  • Think about what you most regret about drinking. What’s the worse incident you can recall?  Write it on a Post-it note (in code if needs be) and stick it somewhere that you’ll see it.
  • What do you dream you’ll do if you don’t drink? Maybe you’ve always wanted to go to the 8.30 yoga class at your gym.  Maybe you’ve wished that you could stand on the sidelines cheering your kids’ football team on rather than wincing whenever anybody shouts encouragement.  Do it this weekend.  Start creating your alternative life.

 

Bonus tip

This suggestion may not suit everyone but if you’re really committed to a long term change then get rid of all the booze in your house.

Every. Single. Dreg. 

Give it to friends or, more cathartically, pour it down the sink.

If you’re horrified at the amount of money you think you’ll be losing, calculate the value of what you have: is you’re health and sanity only worth that much?

Living in an alcohol free home makes not drinking more straightforward.  It also sets an intention, declaring that intoxication is not the norm.

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The bottle or the blade: mental health and self-harm

The bottle or the blade: mental health and self-harm || raeritchie.com

It was my partner’s birthday at the beginning of June.  He’s a keen cook so I’d mentally noted the number of times he’d mentioned getting a decent chef’s knife and decided this would be the perfect present for him.

Hours of internet research later, I felt able to make a reasonably informed choice and smugly tucked the long thin package into a classic ‘safe place’.

Come the week before his birthday, my mental health had deteriorated considerably and I found myself tearing anxiously through all the possible ‘safe places’ where the knife could be.

Eventually located, I tearfully presented it to Mark and he took it outside to live with all the other household sharps in his car boot.

Bread knife, chopping knife, carving knife; kitchen scissors, craft scissors, nail scissors; razors, clippers, staple removers and anything else with a point or a blade: all now resided in his car boot.  Common o’garden painkillers and my spare meds were also stashed there.

We had scoured every corner of our home to ensure that there was nothing left that I could possibly hurt myself with.

Sometime after, I managed to negotiate the return of my practically blunt vintage letter opener.  It probably says a lot about me that this was the item I missed the most; having to rip envelopes open only added to my mental distress.

A while later still, I finished my time at the mental health day hospital.  To mark this milestone, and in recognition of my somewhat improved state, we repatriated all the sharps.

In every room of the house, drawers and pots were replenished and I felt pleased with my apparent progress.

Until yesterday.

Yesterday I walked over to the kitchen drawer, took out a knife and firmly drew the hard steel blade across the soft delicate skin of my left wrist.

The term ‘self-harm’ comes laden with connotations of teenage emos listening to Marilyn Manson et al in their dimly lit bedrooms.

Self harm is not associated with smartly dressed thirty-four year old women standing in their kitchens on an otherwise unremarkable Monday morning.

I’ve been unable to identify any specific trigger that led to my action.

It wasn’t even impulsive behaviour undertaken whilst agitated.  On the contrary, the thought crossed my mind as I was finishing getting dressed.  Once considered, it seemed like a good idea.  As I styled my hair, the compulsion grew stronger.

By the time I had put in my earrings and sprayed my perfume, the urge felt irresistible.

Now the small scar where I’d previously hacked the same wrist with some nail clippers is joined by a second visual reminder of the destructive urges that can accompany mental health distress.

Other efforts have left no visible trace but the visceral memory remains.

I guess the motivation for such behaviour varies between people.  It is often cruelly dismissed as attention-seeking, with no regard for the desperation that someone must be experiencing if they decide that this is a reasonable course of action.

For me, hurting myself in this kind of physical manner is about a desire to escape my current state of mind.  

It is about escape, being released – however temporarily – from the torment of my emotions.

Cutting my wrist provides a different focus, a distraction, a moment of feeling and being other than where I am now.

I in no way wish to condone self-harming or encourage others to do likewise, but as with so many other aspects of mental health, we need more open and honest conversations about what’s going on.

We need more open and honest conversations about what’s going on.  

Is using a razor or a blade to cut oneself all that different from other forms of self-medication?

Why does the term self-harm refer to cutting and slashing but not the damage that we can do to ourselves through drink, drugs, food, unhealthy relationships?

These other behaviours are often seen as harmful to us, so why the distinction from ‘self-harm’?

When I’m in a good place, I can use exercise to the same effect as the knife; moving my body also gives me a different focus, a distraction, a moment of feeling and being other than where I am now.  But oftentimes exercise feels like to much effort; it seems beyond my reach.

In those moments, I am simply grateful for remembering the havoc that alcohol has wreaked on my life and not wanting to tred that path again.

For now at least, perhaps I have to swap the bottle for the blade.

The mental health charity Mind has some great information and support on self-harm if this affects you or someone you know.

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