Being asked to conduct a funeral is an enormous honour and privilege. Every one that I’m responsible for is bespoke to you and your loved one, focusing on what mattered to them and what matters to you.
What you want is what’s important
I’m not here to tell you what the service should or must contain. It’s about what you want.
If you’re not sure, I can help you to figure that out. Most people, if they’re fortunate, organise very few funerals so having someone who can provide choices and suggestions may be helpful, but people often have more thoughts about what they’d like than they realise.
That said, your involvement in the service, and decisions about it, can be as much or as little as you are comfortable with.
What I provide
I create and conduct the funeral service. If it’s helpful, I can create the order of service too.
I’m there to hold a space for everyone present to experience the full range of feelings that arise in these situations, although what exactly the funeral looks like varies as each one is unique. Maybe my voice is the only one you hear. Maybe I’m one of several people who speaks. Maybe my role is more like a Master of Ceremonies.
These are decisions we can make together depending on circumstances and preferences, but here’s an example. Perhaps a lifelong friend wants to speak about what the departed meant to them so that is included as part of the service. If, however, a few days before, ten minutes before, or even part way through, they feel unable to speak then I could instead deliver those words on their behalf.
How it works
It starts with a conversation between you and me – a conversation not about structure or logistics but about the person who has died. What were they like? What made them special? I want to know about the family holiday you all took 30 years ago that you still laugh about today or the anecdote they repeated over and over again that made you roll your eyes but revealed something they were really proud of.
I then go away and develop what we’ve talked about into a story about their life and, from there, create a structure, adding in any additional elements you’d like such as a poem or specific music.
If you’d like to see what I’ve planned ahead of time, I’m happy to share this with you. Afterwards, I can provide a copy of what I’ve said if that’s something you’d like to keep.
Getting started
Contact me directly to arrange an initial discussion to see if I’m the right celebrant for you and your loved one and to explore availability OR ask your funeral director to get in touch on your behalf.
My email is rae@raeritchie.com and my phone number is 07837 529760. The map below shows the geographical area I usually cover but I can travel further by arrangement.
Rae Ritchie 